Thursday, February 7, 2008

ORGAN RECITAL vs. PLAYING THE BONES

I'll spare you the organ recital. The "bones" are as follows:

In 1972, I slipped on a wet step in our back yard and fell on my right leg, breaking the fibula. I was in a cast for about 6 weeks.
In 1978, I was coming around the corner of the bed and hit my toe on the leg of it, and, of course I cried out. My husband laughed and asked if I had skinned up the bed. In retaliation, I told him, "I'll skin you", as I kicked at him. I was in nylon hose on a hard wood floor and both feet flew out from under me and I sat flat down on the floor. I had compression fractures of L4&5. I was in a back brace for 8 weeks.
In 1991, I was home for my mother's funeral. I was upstairs when the phone rang and I went running down the stairs, missing the last step. I fractured the right 5th metatarsal, and ended up in a cast for about 4 weeks.
In 1994, I was starting up a short flight of stairs and turned to return to the bathroom to turn off the light and missed the last step, hyperextending my right knee, resulting in a tibial plateau fracture. I was in a brace, allowing me to bend the knee but I was not allowed to put my foot on the floor for 3 months, then began some weight bearing, still using crutches. Dr. said I could go back to work April 15. On April, I started down those same stairs with my crutches and lost footing and fell, fracturing the same knee in a different place. So finally, July 12, I was allowed to go back to work.
Last of all, the following winter, I started across the patio where there was a patch of ice that I did not see and, you guessed it. I fell down, breaking my right arm just below the elbow. I was off work a couple of weeks, the they found some office work at the hospital that I could do and I was back on the payroll.
Needless to say, I am very careful these days. I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis in L4&5, and both trochanters and am being treated for that. For some reason, my right side has been pretty banged up. You might say, I have been somewhat "accident prone". Due to a shortening of the right leg following the knee injury, I had a total right knee replacement two and one half years ago to correct the valgus, and give me back the length that i needed.
Now, aren't you glad I spared you the "Organ Recital"?

4 comments:

Gary White said...

Love your title, Naomi! Perhaps we'll get the organ recital later?

The world you have inhabited has been a dangerous place. Yes, being careful seems a good plan.

Somehow, your description reminds me of my daughter, Steph. She was always accident prone and I can't remember the number of times I took her to the ER while she was growing up. I dubbed her "Calamity Jean" because Jean is her middle name.

Thanks for the bones recital!

Phil Foust said...

Gosh!

wayne woodruff said...

It seems as if you should live in a warm climate (no ice) with no stairs, no bed posts and no husband (to kick at ). Maybe less tequila??

Naomi said...

Wayne,
I'll agree to the warm climate, no stairs, no bedposts, and some days, no husband (very few). Tequila? I never tried it so guess I'll just leave it that way. I did learn my lesson, so have never tried kicking at my husband again.
Naomi